Your Midweek Links: Happy Turkey Eve!

Sting! Sting! Sting! STEEEEEEEEEEENNNNG!
Photo Credit: WWE.com

It's hump day, so here are some links to get you through the rest of the week:

Wrestling Links:

- 15 Wrestlers We're Most Thankful For [Wrestledelphia]

- The Best and Worst of Survivor Series [With Spandex]

- What Did We Learn from Survivor Series? [SB Nation]

- WWE Survivor Series: Sting? WTF! [Grantland]

- Bang for Your Buck PPV Review: Survivor Series [Juice Make Sugar]

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show Ep. 170

Austin's guest on this show was a veritable wrestling icon
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: Steve Austin Show Unleashed
Episode: 170
Run Time: 1:22:08
Guest: Bill Apter (13:00)

Dispatches from the Lake: This One Goes out to All the Ladies

Along with JBL, these two twits are a disservice to women in WWE
Photo Credit: WWE.com

I get mad at the commentators on RAW quite a bit. When JBL came on a while back to replace Jerry Lawler after his heart attack, I had some high hopes. Michael Cole pumped the brake on his horrific heel character (though I still miss the Cole Mine with all my heart), and things were looking up. Once Lawler came back, we had a three man booth who weren’t allowed to think their own thoughts screaming over each other about twerking - not the improvement I was looking for. I look back at that past version of me and shake my head at her foolish hopes, especially after the commentary during the women’s Survivor Series match on Sunday.

I don’t understand a lot of how the WWE does business, but it seems to me that if they are giving a match a sizable chunk of their show, they are going to do their best putting it over and trying to keep those watching at home engaged. The last time I can remember the commentators doing this was that NXT tag team match on Raw about a month or two ago. I’m sure Triple H was on the other end of the earpieces promising death most painful if they did their usual dump on everything routine.

Tomorrow Never Dies Card Taking Shape

Can the Big Blue Ant lead his team to Cibernetico victory?
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

Under two weeks remain before December 6 arrives and Chikara ends its 14th season with a return to the 2300 Arena (formerly ECW Arena). The show, which will be available on Internet pay-per-view, looks to be an epic clash between the forces of Chikara and the raging waters of The Flood, as displayed by the first matches announced. Heidi Lovelace vs. Missile Assault Ant in the Young Lions Cup final, the Cibernetico Royale with Jakob Hammermeier captaining the rudo squad, and the mammoth clash between Icarus and Deucalion have already been announced. Since then, Chikara's captain for Cibernetico has been named, two more Chikara vs. Flood bouts have been inked, and a third match outside of the main theater of battle with a funky stipulation was announced.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Cheap Heat with Mike Tyson

Tyson was the guest this week
Photo Credit: WWE.com

If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: Cheap Heat
Episode: Nov. 20, 2014
Run Time: 1:02:47
Guest: Mike Tyson (17:09)

Instant Feedback: You Proved Triple H Right

Out with the old, in with the old in different makeup
Photo Credit: WWE.com

WWE's desired narrative and "headcanon" oftentimes are in direct opposition to each other. Headcanon, a Tumblr-coined word that describes taking a deeply personal interpretation of events in popular culture as gospel truth, can make a lot more sense than the written, literal story in times of subpar output, and in times of quality, it can be an enriching appendix to what's going on. WWE is known for having stretches with great wrestling, and the character design and execution might be on point, but trusting narrative is a dicey proposition. Relying on headcanon to get through rough episodes of RAW is necessary in some cases.

The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings, November 24

Sasha Banks, hype as a wrestler AND a manager
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Sasha Banks (Last Week: 2) - She returned the favor for Becky Lynch as her hype-man this week, and she compelled her to win WITH THE POWER OF SATAN. ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

2. Odell Beckham, Jr. (Last Week: Not Ranked) - He's not human. He's not human. He's from Asgard. He's gotta be.

3. Bayley (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Certain things are inalienable. You are born. You die. You pay taxes. And Bayley's gonna hug you. Charlotte found out. You will too.

Smackdown: Friendship is Magic

Pictured: Four men who shouldn't trust John Cena
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Disclaimer that I wrote this before Survivor Series.

Worst Friends – John Cena and Team Cena
John Cena really is the worst team mate. On this episode Triple H dropped the bomb that if Cena's team loses at Survivor Series, then the team mates will all lose their jobs...except for Cena. Apparently this is supposed to be a stake for Cena because it might make him feel bad or something. Anyway, this resulted in, like, five minutes of soul searching for Big Show, Dolph Ziggler, Ryback, and Erick Rowan, after which they decided to stick together because of “freedom,” whatever that's supposed to mean. And guess who didn't show up at all, either to convince his crew to band together or to help out against the Authority? Captain Cena.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show Ep. 169

Austin analyzes this match in great detail
Photo Credit: WWE.com

If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: Steve Austin Show
Episode: 169
Run Time: 1:15:13
Guest: None

It's SHOWTIME: Survivor Series '14 Review

Never thought I'd see this...
Photo Credit: WWE.com

TH STYLE, Y'ALL. You can still catch this for free if you get The Network before next Monday.

Highlights:

• To top off the show, Vince McMahon announced that if Team Cena won the main event, the only person who could reinstate Stephanie McMahon and Triple H to their positions within the active company would be John Cena.
• The Miz and Damien Sandow became WWE Tag Team Champions when Sandow tagged himself into the match and pinned Goldust after he'd been hit with several finishing maneuvers.
• The team of Natalya, Emma, Alicia Fox, and Naomi won a clean sweep against Paige, Layla, Summer Rae, and Cameron. The final elimination came when Naomi hit Paige with the Rear View and a stiff-looking seated leg-scissor driver into a pinfall.
• Bray Wyatt successfully led Dean Ambrose into temptation, gaining a disqualification victory when Ambrose hit him with a chair. After the match, Ambrose put Wyatt through a table, and then piled all kinds of detritus on top of him before looking out at the crowd from atop a ladder.
• The Bunny and Adam Rose defeated Slater Gator when the Bunny hit Heath Slater with a missile dropkick for the pin.
• Nikki Bella defeated AJ Lee for the Divas Championship in short order. Brie Bella sneaked a kiss on Lee from the apron, causing distraction enough for Nikki to hit the Rack Attack for the win.
• To the surprise of absolutely no one, Wyatt vs. Ambrose in a TLC match was announced for the titular event.
• Sting made his first ever appearance in a WWE ring to put an end to Triple H's shenanigans in the main event. He hit the now-former in-character boss with a Scorpion Death Drop, allowing Dolph Ziggler to pin Seth Rollins and get the win for Team Cena in the main event.

Best Coast Bias: Going, Going...

The must-see moment on a surprisingly light show (Photo Credit: WWE.com)

There's a term for those who think that the past can't affect the future: morons.

With the show made up of dueling squashes and sprints, it seemed to be a perfect harmonic convergence that two men whose careers intermingled for the better part of this century both took about three sentences to deliver the real crux of the show. That one of those men would be Sami Zayn after last week's events wasn't a surprise.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Art Of Wrestling Ep. 225

Davis, the head honcho of OVW, is Cabana's guest this week
Screen Grab via YouTube

If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: Art Of Wrestling
Episode: 225
Run Time: 1:13:35
Guest: Danny Davis

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 101

The above is not needed in hockey anymore
Photo via TopBet.eu

It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers!

@tholzerman: What are your feelings about the gradual phasing out of enforcers in the NHL? Is there a parallel in pro wrestling? #Mailbag
— Johnny Ro (@JohnJohnPhenom) November 18, 2014

@tholzerman: To clarify a position or role that at one point was central to the sport that's disappearing from the landscape? #Mailbag
— Johnny Ro (@JohnJohnPhenom) November 18, 2014

Personally, I think the phasing out of enforcers has been a long-time coming in the NHL. Professional athletes like to project an image of toughness, but the way so many professional leagues have rules against taunting, unwritten rules, or in hockey, sanctioned physical retaliation, it seems like so many people who play sports are thin-skinned and whiny when it comes to their feelings, as if someone's pride is more important than the "offender's" physical well-being. Fragile egos are a terrible thing to prop up. Just play the game of hockey and don't get a stick up your ass because someone celebrated over scoring a goal or because you didn't think the penalty given to the other team's goon for roughing up one of your players was stiff enough.

As for wrestling, I'm not sure an analogue exists since it's not a sport but entertainment. I would imagine backstage areas have their share of enforcers, or guys who make sure that things are on the up and up through threats of physical violence. Tony Garea's long-tenured WWE employment had to have been owed to his shoot prowess, and stories are told all the time of tough guys making sure booking decisions go over the way they're supposed to. The most famous story has to be Undertaker making sure Shawn Michaels did business for Steve Austin at WrestleMania XIV. The roles are fundamentally different, in that the hockey enforcer seems to be more of a retaliatory position, while the theoretical wrestling enforcer is more proactive or a deterrent. I also think that the wrestling enforcer might be on its way out too. Money talks louder than physical violence anymore, and as more and more promotions grow more corporate in structure, the currency value of violence declines further and further. Personally, I would rather not hear stories of violence being threatened or perpetrated backstage at a wrestling show, ironic given how combative in nature the art is, but I can understand or condone better why a wrestling locker room would have its own tough guy to enforce the rules rather than on the ice in hockey.

Dispatches from the Lake: No, YOUR Time Is Now

Cena needs to shock the world
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Soon as WWE announced that the Network would be free for November, I had a thought in my head. And that thought wasn’t rage, though I was plenty pissed I wouldn’t be allowed to partake in the free month because I signed up from day one. I have a feeling that many of you had the same thought, and have continued to have for low these many years.

It is time.

IT IS TIME.

John Cena needs to turn heel. I can hear your eyes rolling from here, gentle reader. Please, let me explain.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: The Ross Report Ep. 40

Jim Ross talks to the Hardy Boys this week
Photo Credit: WWE.com

If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: The Ross Report
Episode: 40
Run Time: 1:51:44
Guest: The Hardy Boyz

Pro Wrestling SKOOPZ on The Wrestling Blog: Issue 10

Where will Brock Lesnar go in 2015?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

HORB FLERBMINBER here with your weekly jackpot of NEWS, RUMORS, SPECULATION, and PROMOTER HAGIOGRAPHY. It's a jackpot because my reporting and takes are always GOLDEN. In fact, my opinions are so HOT HOT HOT they melt steel, unlike the temperature at which jet fuel burns. At least that's what Jesse "The Body" Ventura told me during our sitdown interview that I will have EXCLUSIVELY for you on February 30 next year. Anyway, I bring you the news that is the most pertinent and IMPORTANT. In fact, I report on the stories that the other DIRT SHEET WRITERS are afraid to tell you about. For example, how many nipples does Vince McMahon REALLY have, and who financed the secret operation to get 50% of them removed. The answer may shock you.

The Hammer Has Dropped: ROH Contracts to Become Exclusive Immediately UPDATE

Elgin will be one of many affected by Sinclair's new policy
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

Rumors have been floating around for awhile that executives within Sinclair Broadcasting Group, the corporate entity that owns Ring of Honor, were mulling over not allowing any contracted wrestlers to compete in any other promotion. These rumors have been confirmed by Dreamwave Wrestling promoter Jay Respel, and effective immediately, all ROH wrestlers are to be exclusive with the company, and they will not be allowed to take bookings with any other company. Michael Elgin is the only one that affected Dreamwave's plans. He was booked for the Southern Illinois company's December 6 event. However, ROH wrestlers compete all across the country and even overseas. The company has had a good relationship with New Japan Pro Wrestling in the last few years, but with NJPW joining the Global Force Wrestling network as an affiliate promotion, I doubt that relationship will continue past WrestleKingdom 9 if at all.

Your Midweek Links: Grumpy Cat Rules RAW

"This cat is rich as hell"
Photo via @RealGrumpyCat

It's hump day, so here are some links to get you through the rest of the week:

Wrestling Links:

- No Survivors: The 15 Worst Survivor Series Teams Ever [With Spandex]

- Who Will Replace The Authority? [Wrestledelphia]

- Wrestling Fan Shorthand [4CR Wrestling]

- The Best and Worst of RAW: Grumpy Cat's Worst RAW Ever [With Spandex]

- And Now, the Best of Wrestlers Posing with Grumpy Cat [With Spandex]

Best Coast Bias: WWE Mehwork

An accurate visual representation of the program
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Episodes of Main Event that are the last ones before Network specials (nee pay-per-views) are almost the dictionary definition of purgatory. They exist in neither Hades nor a Victoria's Secret lingerie show backstage; they merely are, forgotten almost as soon as they're done airing.

This could've been the hour to break that sturdy but unspectacular chain.

It wasn't, however.

Nothing Gold Can Stay: The Fleeting Nature of WWE Alliances

Where have you gone, Wyatt Family?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Around this time last year, WWE boasted two strong, cohesive trios that defied traditional standards within the promotion and that looked like they could stick around for awhile. The Shield was going through trial turbulence, but the Hounds of Justice hadn't been the subjects of any massively obvious foreshadowing. Meanwhile, the Wyatt Family, which had been in its infancy as a group, was already entangling itself within the tendrils of main event creatures in CM Punk and Daniel Bryan. Even if The Shield was bound to fall apart in a fiery wreck, the Wyatts were to remain a stable, nuclear stable unit.

Now, heading into Survivor Series this year, neither group is together. The Shield famously broke up like a hacky RKO after dominating Evolution in a series of pay-per-view trios matches. Meanwhile, WWE Creative scrambled to fix Bray Wyatt after it had ruined him in bad stories against John Cena, the Usos, and Chris Jericho, and the braintrust felt that stripping the Eater of Worlds of his acolytes was the best thing for all three. When Erick Rowan emerged from the back as a member of Team Cena and immediately started jaw-jacking with his former partner Luke Harper is when I felt the feeling at its strongest. Alliances in WWE are never meant to stay together.

Icarus. Deucalion. Jakob? Your Tomorrow Never Dies Update

Will Deucalion, center, send Icarus to a grisly end?
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

December 6 at the 2300 (formerly ECW) Arena in Philadelphia, Chikara's landmark 14th season will come to a close, and the assumed last match on the show has been set. Icarus, the current Grand Champion, will engage in a final showdown with the Flood's mammoth and seemingly invincible leader, Deucalion. Because Director of Fun Mike Quackenbush has instituted a points system for contention, the title will not be on the line; Deucalion has not wrestled a singles match yet, and in fact he only made his in-ring debut at the show in Haverhill, MA this past Saturday. Just because the gold isn't on the line, however, doesn't mean the stakes aren't crucially high.

Lutefisk List: Things to Do Instead of Watching Survivor Series

Don't want to watch Cena overcome the odds again? Do something else!
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Hello friends, Lutefisk here! If you're like me, you probably didn't watch Monday Night RAW and you don't really have any reason to complain. However, if you're not like me, then you probably watched RAW and probably didn't like much of what you saw.

For what it's worth, I'm not subscribed to the WWE Network. I don't plan on ordering the Network anytime soon. I've more or less stopped watching WWE. I'm never home to watch Smackdown and I've gone weeks without watching ANYTHING from Raw. It's pretty great and less stressful this way.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show Ep. 168

Another Austin call-in show this week
Photo Credit: WWE.com

If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: Steve Austin Show Unleashed
Episode: 168
Run Time: 1:24:12
Guest: None

Instant Feedback: They Can Rebuild Him, They Have the Technology

The guy on the right was rehabbed just fine. Why can't the guy on the left?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Missy Hyatt, back in the day, was one of the first true sex symbols in professional wrestling. Valued for her looks, she became a multi-territorial star and a heat magnet of the first degree, laying the groundwork, for better or worse, for her entire gender for the next couple of decades. Like many stars of the past, she's made a comeback on Twitter, and whether I agree with her or not in various instances, she's proving to add value with her insights into wrestling she's watching, current or past. To wit, an observation from tonight's RAW:

I do give credit 2 WWE for rehabbing Ryback after killing him for almost 2 years in 3 weeks.
— Missy Hyatt (@missyhyatt) November 18, 2014

The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings, November 17

Not only is he deadly with his elbows, he'll beat you with a boot too
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Chris Hero (Last Week: Not Ranked) - AT the Five Boroughs Wrestling show on Friday night, Hero wrestled Drew Gulak, and at one point during the match, beat Gulak with his boot. I ain't even mad. That move is some next-level grumpy old man shit. Hero may be the closest thing the indie scene will ever get to an American Tenryu, and it'll be fabulous once he becomes fully actualized in his curmudgeonly glory.

2. Sasha Banks (Last Week: 1) - She named her team with Becky Lynch BAE. Best. At. Everything. ONE OF US. ONE OF US. ONE OF US.

3. Falafel (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - Middle-Eastern cuisine has become one of my staples over the years, mainly because falafel is so goddamn tasty. It's crunchy, earthy, and it pairs well with the herby and spicy harif sauce that you can find at most joints. Highly recommend.

Stricken By Nostalgia

Maybe he wasn't the "biggest draw" or the "greatest promo". He was way more than that to me. He was my friend. 

I could relate to Eddie Guerrero more than any other wrestler. I saw him every week on Smackdown. I met him every Tuesday evening. That was when they would show the Smackdown that aired two weeks ago in the USA. I was always two weeks behind but it never mattered to me. I had Eddie, Rey Mysterio, Edge, et all on Smackdown. These guys were the best. And the best out of all of them was Guerrero. I had no spoilers then and I didn't need them. All I needed was to see him walk out and perform in the ring alongside the stellar cast that they had at the time. Bad guy, good guy, weak guy, guy who lost to Brock Lesnar, it didn't matter. 

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Cheap Heat Nov. 13

Savage/Warrior is one of the topics of discussion this week
Photo Credit: WWE.com

If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: Cheap Heat
Episode: Nov. 13, 2014
Run Time: 1:03:38
Guest: None

Best Coast Bias: Yes, He Can't

You know what you call friends like this? JERKS.
Photo Credit: WWE.com

There's a reason Dan Marino gets remembered one way and Joe Montana gets remembered another. There's a reason people who loved the NBA have one set of associations when it comes to Dominique Wilkins and another when it comes to Michael Jordan, the same way the words Pete Campbell make Mad Men fans make one face and the words Don Draper another.

As the Internet noted in several places over the past week before it became horribly broken by the latest iteration of something that's already happened a couple dozen of times, America loves an underdog story more so than an actual underdog; what the American ethos is built around for better and for worse according to that line of thought is winning, period.

And yet.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Art Of Wrestling Ep. 224

McIntyre is Cabana's guest this week
Photo Credit: WWE.com

If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: Art Of Wrestling
Episode: 224
Run Time: 1:05:29
Guest: Drew McIntyre

Twitter Request Line: The Century Edition

The Ascension will probably be just fine
Photo Credit: WWE.com

It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday morning (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers!

@tholzerman :: Can the Ascension actually succeed when they cross over to the main roster? Will their gimmick work? #tweetbag
— Restaurant Jones (@RasslinCrig) November 12, 2014

I'll answer your question with a question of my own. Does the Ascension even have a gimmick anymore? Sure, they have the hieroglyphs on their gear, but the whole "spooky supernatural dudes" thing went out the window before they won the NXT Tag Team Championships, and may have had the kibosh put on it when Kenneth Cameron DUI'd his way out of the company. Right now, the Ascension remind me of a modern day Road Warriors, Demolition, or even the Steiner Bros. They're two big dudes who will kick your ass without quarter or mercy.

Now, all the rumors have placed them as the replacements for Luke Harper and Erick Rowan in the Wyatt Family. That gimmick has proven to work inasmuch as a dude can run being Wyatt's acolyte independent of WWE's bullshit parity booking. Truth be told, I think the Ascension has one of the better shots to get over on the main roster of the dudes populating the Full Sail ring every Thursday night.

Best Coast Bias: Get Back

Back like déjà vu
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Dean Ambrose would've gotten a better fight out of the mock Rollins mannequin he toted out a few RAWs ago then he did against Justin Gabriel in the closing part of the program.

Watching Alicia Fox trying valiantly while failing to carry Cameron into something watchable must be the professional graps equivalent of Kat Dennings on 2 Broke Girls: watching a sunflower trying to emerge from a pile of manure.

Adam Rose's Bunny actually served its purpose in helping its steward beat Stardust, probably leading to a tag match that hopefully leads to the re-emergence of Leo Kruger and/or the reveal of the wascally wabbit. Serviceable stuff, but short, and more in service of the story than the match. Kofi Kingston's promo promising an alliance with Xavier Woods' A New Day alliance probably drove up recruitment numbers for the New Black Panthers.

Nine Years Gone

Miss u, Eddie
Photo via WWE.com

Nine years ago today, in a Minneapolis hotel room, the wrestling world lost a true icon. Eduardo Gory Guerrero, better known to his fans as Eddie or Eddy, passed away from heart failure at the all too young age of 38. Guerrero lived fast and hard, both inside and out of the ring, but while his premature passing was cynically not surprising, it didn't make the sting hurt any less, and it doesn't make the void he left in the wrestling industry any shallower. Guerrero came as close to being a universally beloved wrestler as anyone ever could have. He was rude and devious as a heel, and lovable and relatable as a babyface. And boy, could he ever put on a show between the bells. Guerrero may not have been the best wrestler of all-time between the ropes, but I struggle to think of ten wrestlers who clearly were better than him in all facets of the game.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: The Ross Report Ep. 39

Ross chats with a former colleague of his
Photo Credit: WWE.com

If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: The Ross Report
Episode: 39
Run Time: 1:50:43
Guest: Alex Greenfield

Pro Wrestling SKOOPZ on The Wrestling Blog: Issue 9

ROSS IS CALLING NEW JAPAN MATCH MADE IN *climaxes*
Photo Credit: WWE.com

SUP, FOOLS. Horb Flerbminber IS BACK with another edition of Pro Wrestling SKOOPZ here on this two-bit site for jabronis and people who think Prince Devitt is a terrorist. HOW RUDE. Anyway, I have all the news and rumors that are READY TO BE CRAMMED INTO YOUR MINDHOLE. You had better come at me with an empty mind, because I am going to fill it up with all the hottest SCOOPS, GOSSIP, and ITEMIZED INSURANCE CLAIMS from wrestlers whose homes were damaged in various tropical storms. What did Alexa Bliss claim her patio furniture was worth? YOU'LL ONLY FIND OUT FROM ME, HORB, AND NO ONE ELSE. Not even God himself or various dirtsheet writers who CLAIM they're God like Mike Johnson can bring you the nitty-gritty. NOT A CHANCE.

Time for a Discussion on Crowds

Maybe if McMahon put out a good product, he wouldn't have to deal with quiet or sarcastic crowds
Photo Credit: WWE.com

WWE's second semiannual trip to the United Kingdom this calendar year could not have been timed any worse for the multinational sports entertainment conglomerate. Just last week, the company abruptly announced that the launch of its Network in the country would be indefinitely postponed on the day before it was set to debut. America has had it since February and other countries have been slowly added to the frame. Since the US is pretty much WWE's bread and butter, the advertising blitz that the company has perpetrated at the expense of other content or even story development has been overbearing for people who actually could purchase the service. Imagine how annoying and tantalizing it was and still is for Brits who have to go through dubious channels in order to procure a Network feed of varying providence if they want to see it at all.

Britain has a history of raucous crowd reactions that lean towards the side of hardcore fandom. Combine those proclivities with the utter failure on the delivery of a product, and WWE was bound to get angry and vocal reactions from the people in the stands. Live reports bore this scenario out, but the beauty of filming the show six hours earlier because of time differences is that the production crew had six hours to edit out the displeasure before RAW went to air. With Smackdown, the lag time is even greater. Still, having thousands of people in an arena to watch your show do nothing but protest-chant the whole time can be frustrating. Be that as it may, I have no sympathy for WWE in this case because the company did it to itself. Moreover, whenever a crowd reacts in a way that people might find annoying or not conducive to the flow of a show, the blame rarely if ever is on the people.

Your Midweek Links: Hoodslam on VICE

Who in the current WWE could emulate Flair's all-time classic group?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

It's hump day, so here are some links to get you through the rest of the week:

Wrestling Links:

- Hoodslam's Drunk and Bloody Pro Wrestling Isn't for Kids [VICE]

- The Best and Worst of RAW: British Boo Camp [With Spandex]

- Casting the Four Horsemen from Today's WWE Roster [The Squared Circle Blog]

- 10 Count: Dream Matches That Should've Happened But Didn't [Wrassle Rap]

- The Best and Worst of Impact Wrestling: I Can't Believe I Ate the Whole Thing [With Spandex]

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show Ep. 167

Austin was back taking your calls on the latest show
Photo Credit: WWE.com

If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: Steve Austin Show
Episode: 167
Run Time: 1:25:10
Guest: None

Dispatches from the Lake: Beards and Besties

Welcome Baxel, Axel
Photo Credit: WWE.com

So, how stupid was it that Curtis Axel was pulled off television while Ryback was out in hindsight? (Ed. Note: He also may have been injured, but I'm not sure)  If you weren’t going to unite them as a tag team, why not use Axel to fill out the thin roster? I can’t be surprised about this crap anymore, but I was pleased and flat out SHOCKED that WWE addressed it later in the show. Continuity isn’t one of the E’s strong points, so when it rears its beautiful head every once and a while, I get a little giddy.

Our two matches this week were Adam Rose against the returning Axel and Jack Swagger taking on Heath Slater. We’re going to do this a little different this week, mostly because I’m bored of saying the same things over and over about these lack luster, by the numbers matches.

Jim Ross Will Call the Global Force Broadcast of WrestleKingdom 9

New Japan and Global Force are bringing in the Man under the Black Resistol Hat
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Via the Global Force site

GFW dropped its promised announcement today, and boy, was it a doozy. Jim Ross, arguably the voice of the Attitude Era, has been signed to do play-by-play for the Global Force presentation of New Japan Pro Wrestling's WrestleKingdom 9. The acquisition of Ross' services arguably is the biggest possible coup the fledgling company/governing body (?) could have secured for itself. Ross has been on the sidelines as a regular announcer for several years, and even he himself doubted he would ever get behind the microphone again to call wrestling. So far, it's not known whether Ross will be calling the event stag or if he'll have a color commentator.

So Your Roster Might Disappear: The Cautionary Tale of PWG

Are scenes like these in PWG going to be a thing of the past?
Photo Credit: Devin Chen

Rumors are swirling around that Ring of Honor officials are considering keeping the company's contracted wrestlers exclusive to the company as if they were employees of WWE. The decision is being kicked around by the muckety-mucks in Sinclair Broadcasting Group, not by Hunter Johnston or Joe Koff, which means ROH is on its way to becoming a slick, corporate entity run by people who just don't know wrestling. Of course, rumors are rumors, and nothing concrete has been decided.

On the other side of the eternal indie wrestling pissing match, Gabe Sapolsky's WWN Live group is currently touring China, which easily is the coolest wrestling happening of the year to date. WWE has made initial overtures to the most populous relatively-untapped wrestling market in the world, but it's shocking that Sapolsky, with little name value (outside of guys like Ricochet who've worked Japan) and even less corporate backing, was the first non-Titan entity to tour China. While reception hasn't been fully gauged yet, the group is already in talks to return to the country on a regular basis, especially if the crowds are commensurate with the sheer density of people living in areas where the shows are being booked.

This confluence of potential events could mean a lot of things, but one of the major ramifications is it could end up drastically shrinking Pro Wrestling Guerrilla's current roster.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Art of Wrestling Ep. 223

The new SHIMMER Champ is Cabana's guest this week
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: Art Of Wrestling
Episode: 223
Run Time: 1:09:07
Guest: Nicole Matthews

The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings, November 10

One of these days, the tables will turn and Bayley will be SO CONFLICTED
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Sasha Banks (Last Week: Not Ranked) - This ranking has been a long time coming. Not only is she tremendous in the ring and plays her character to a tee, she is the most one-of-us wrestler on the WWE satellite roster. She loves indie wrestling, buys t-shirts of those who are still there, retweets crazy Photoshops, and geeks out over the big wrestling happenings just like the legions of smart-ass fans who stan for her. If I ever make it to Full Sail, I am starting a "ONE OF US" chant for her when she comes out.

2. Kimber Lee (Last Week: 3) - Her rivalry with JT Dunn has taken such a turn for the better that I'm pretty sure she keeps him in a Poke Ball between cards. However, because she seems like the benevolent type, I'm sure it's a Luxury Ball. Only the best for her rivals/whipping boys.

3. KJ McDaniels (Last Week: Not Ranked) - McDaniels is 6'6" and blocking shots like he's Manute Bol. Six-and-a-half feet might be tall in the real world, but in the NBA, he's average height. I'm trying not to get my hopes up since who knows if he's gonna stick around on the Sixers-Tanktastic-Roster-of-Fun, but if he's sustainable and can be on the floor with healthy Nerlens Noel and Joel Embiid in the future, it's gonna be a block party in Philly YEAH.

TH's Fair to Flair Archive

One of my many subjects at Fair to Flair
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Wrestling writing hardly inspires the kinds of statements generated for praising longform journalism or prestige writing on subjects that are considered less lowbrow by modern American society. Outside of a few examples trying to raise the discourse, wrestling writers generally fall into two categories, dirtsheet writers who affix star ratings to matches and obsess over dollars and cents or dick joke blogger-types like myself. Once upon a time, however, Sawyer Paul (before he got the K out), Jason Mann, my blogging Brohemian PizzaBodySlam, and Razor of Kick-Out!! Wrestling fame got the idea to band together and raise the game on wrestling writing. Fair to Flair was the project that was to have three prongs: a published quarterly, a monthly compendium podcast, and a regularly-updated blog for everyday writing. The aim was simple; the quartet set out to evolve wrestling writing so that the rumors and jokes weren't the only options one had when reading about pro graps. I joined the party a few months into it, and my contributions to the site were numerous. If you're a longtime reader of TWB, you remember the links each time they went up.

Smackdown: Friendship is Magic

Enough already with these two teams, okay?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Friendship Most Unimproved By Props – Goldust and Stardust and the Usos
We got this match-up once again for the Tag Team titles...but this time in a steel cage! It just made no sense. The only reason I could glean for why the Usos got a title match was because Jey won a singles match against Stardust. How is that a sensible way to hand out title opportunities? The match itself was quite enjoyable (and I'm glad the Dust Brothers retained), but I hate that just seeing that these two teams are going to face each other makes my brain shut down because I'm automatically bored. It's so unfair to the teams and I feel terrible about it. Throwing stipulations around is not the way to solve the tag scene problem, but I talked about that last week.

Best Coast Bias: The Fix Is Finn

Apparently death was too good for the Ascension
Photo Credit: WWE.com

It's taken the better part of a year and a half for the Ascension to establish their NXT legacy.

And it took a two second malevolent grin from Hideo Itami at the top of the rampway to suggest it was all about to come undone.

The subsequent five minutes alongside the debuting Finn Bálor proved it, as the longest reigning NXT Tag Team Champions found themselves offenseless while the future of Full Sail -- receiving "Dream Team" chants from the Florida faithful before they'd even finished winning the fight -- absolutely decimated Viktor and Konnor with tandem offense to the point where the Ascension were in the unfamiliar position of being nearly out cold and looking skyward while the Japanese darling and the artist formerly known as Prince Devitt (had to get it in once, sorry) stood posing on the ropes above their vanquished foes.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show Ep. 166

Austin's most recent show is sadly skippable
Photo Credit: WWE.com

If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: Steve Austin Show Unleashed
Episode: 166
Run Time: 1:29:02
Guest: None

Cibernetico Returns at the Chikara Finale

Graphics Credit: ChikaraPro.com

Via Twitter

I had a feeling the annual Chikara torneo cibernetico was coming, but I thought it would be on Friday night, December 5, on the eve of the 2014 finale Tomorrow Never Dies. However, the second match announced today for the event is the annual traditional 16-wrestler elimination match. The tradition dates back to 2004 and has been held every year except for 2013, when the company was on hiatus during the normal time of year when the match has recently happened. Prior winners include Tim Donst, Sara del Rey, Eddie Kingston, Pinkie Sanchez (as Carpenter Ant), Jimmy Olsen, Claudio Castagnoli, Icarus, Gran Akuma, and Jigsaw.

Wrestling Is Wrestling

Pictured above: Wrestling
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

Every once in awhile, WWE fans on Twitter get frisky and want the return of the cruiserweights. This week, WWE Network and the official Twitter presence of the company riled up the base and came out asking if the fans wanted the division to come back, and predictably, the response was notable. Personally, however, I never saw the point of a separate cruiserweight division outside of its introduction in WCW. Sure, the old farts like Hulk Hogan weren't going to sell for "vanilla midgets," so they had to gain a foothold with the fans in some way. A lower weight class always seemed to be a temporary stopgap, an acclimatization period for when the wrestlers within would cross over and become main roster favorites. It took awhile, but eventually, wrestlers like Chris Jericho, Eddie Guerrero, and Rey Mysterio became wrestling royalty. Furthering the idea, Daniel Bryan's ascension to the biggest deal in WWE would not have happened in the "halcyon" days of a cruiserweight division, because he would have been pigeonholed.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Cheap Heat Nov. 5

Rusev was a big topic of discussion on the show this week
Photo Credit: WWE.com

If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: Cheap Heat
Episode: Nov. 5, 2014
Run Time: 59:32
Guest: None

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 99

Charlotte in the Rumble? Why the heck not?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday morning (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers!

@tholzerman assuming WWE puts an NXT wrestler in The Rumble, who should it be, and who will it be?
— Mike Chauvet (@mikechauvet) November 5, 2014

I think NXT entrants in the Rumble are safe to assume going forward until NXT ceases to be a thing. Furthermore, WWE may place more than one developmental talent in the Rumble this year if rumors of it going to 40 participants in order to erase from the record books the VILE NAME OF ALBERTO DEL RIO WHOSE CRIME WAS, uh, standing up against a gross racist who got fired afterwards, anyway are true. Anyway, I'm assuming this week's Main Event was Sami Zayn's main roster debut until I watch it and see whether or not it was just another NXT refresher teaser like the one WWE booked on RAW right before 2akeover, so he's out. With that in mind, the smart money would be on Adrian Neville getting the nod, especially if he happens to lose The Big X at Tak3over to the aforementioned Zayn. Really, what else remains for Neville to accomplish down there at Full Sail?

However, Neville wouldn't be my pick for the Rumble spot, or at least the only Rumble spot. Again, I book these things with my idealistic mind working overtime, and if I were in WWE, I would be working to drag it kicking and screaming past the 21st Century into a hypothetical future where gender really isn't a big deal anymore. I find no reason past cosmetics why Charlotte shouldn't be in the Rumble and get treatment commensurate to her size and ring style that Rusev got in the match this past year, i.e. maybe she doesn't eliminate someone, but her showing dictates that she belonged there.